The great LA Times writer Jim Murray brilliantly described the white-knuckle demolition derby known as the Indianapolis 500 with the immortal line from his imaginary starter: “Gentlemen, start your coffins!”
He might have been describing the US Open, the golf tournament that brings a smile to the face of every sofa-bound sadist and reduces the greatest golfers in the world to quivering wrecks as they are taken to the limit by the USGA.
Pinehurst No. 2, the classic Donald Ross course brilliantly restored by Ben Crenshaw and Bill Coore, is the perfect canvas for the kind of carnage not seen since the first day of the Somme.
Generous off the tee and devoid of traditional rough, its biggest defence is not just the native areas where wire grass is one of just 70 species of plant designed to tempt players into play recovery shots to domed greens that play far smaller than their 2,500 sq. ft. average.
It’s not so much a golf tournament as a survival test, designed to discover who can take the most brain-damaging punishment and still stagger away to pick up the 18-inch sterling silver trophy topped by a winged female figure representing Victoria, the Goddess of Victory.
World number one Scottie Scheffler is the overwhelming favourite to continue a magical run of form not seen since Tiger Woods was in his pomp. If he plays as he’s been playing this year, and fortune favours him, he will win.
“You not only have to be good, but you also have to have two horseshoes up your rear end,” seven-time major winner Sam Snead said of the US Open, where he was second four times.“You’ve got to be lucky to win the US Open.”
All four-time champion Ben Hogan knew was that they give the trophy to the guy who shoots the lowest score.
Working out that conundrum that will decide Rory McIlroy’s fate as he looks to end a ten-year major drought in the major where his improved his finishing position incrementally over the past five years with successive top 10 finishes — ninth, eighth, seventh, fifth and second — since having a “come to Jesus moment” after his third missed cut in a row in 2018.
“Explosiveness isn’t going to win a US Open,” McIlroy said, just a few hours before reports emerged he and his wife Erica had reconciled and called off divorce proceedings.
“It’s more methodically building your score over the course of four days and being okay with that. Honestly, it’s just more of a reframing of a mindset than anything else.”
Whether he has the precision with his approach play to challenge what he described as a “relentless” Scheffler is the big doubt.
“It is remarkable,” Seamus Power said of the Texan’s otherworldly form this year. “I feel like he’s almost not getting the credit guys might have in the past like Tiger Woods. When Tiger got on runs like this, it was like the world was ending.
“It is amazing – five wins and two seconds and an eighth. I think his worst finish is 17th in Palm Springs. I mean, it’s just remarkable. Last year we saw the ball striking was off the charts and it was just getting his putter starting, thanks to Rory for putting him into the mallet putter. Thanks for that Rory.”