It was a great weekend for Irish golf. An emotional Rory McIlroy captured his sixth Race to Dubai title. Tom McKibbin secured his PGA Tour card for 2025, and Shane Lowry signed off on his DP World Tour campaign with a podium finish. That’s what I should be writing about this week, for this magazine in particular, but my pen’s been drawn like a magnet to two men from across the water acting the maggot, and try as I might, I can’t shift my focus from the villains of last week’s piece.
I speak, of course, of Tyrrell ‘The Tiger’ Hatton and Matt ‘The Wally’ Wallace who both made headlines for the wrong reasons in the drab Dubai desert.
In Hatton’s case, it was the same old story of a fiery Englishman blaming everyone but himself for his – checks notes – sixth place finish at Jumeirah Golf Estates. After pulling the arse off his approach to the par-5 14th on moving day, Hatton snapped his club in half, prompting Sky Sports commentator Ewen Murray to call out the repeat offender.
“It’s time for change I’m afraid,” Murray said, adopting the tone of a disappointed parent after finding out their pride and joy has swapped out the good vodka in the drinks cabinet for water.
“That’s a terrible influence on the next generation. I’m sorry to say it, I’m his biggest supporter. We’ve all had our moments but he’s having too many of them.”
Objectively, Murray is correct. Golf’s an expensive enough hobby to get into without snapping your clubs every other week. We don’t all have the luxury of a tour truck on site stocking ready-made replacements, nor the wealth of Hatton who cashed-in with a big money move to LIV, reported to be in the region of $60m this year.
I was a hot head back in the day but I never dreamed of breaking a club. I knew they didn’t grow on trees – despite my old pitching wedge once ending up in a sycamore – and Dad’s ancient blades sent shivers down my spine with every mishit. Admittedly I did break a PlayStation joypad once and the instant regret of not having the means to avenge my FIFA loss to my insufferable brother was enough to check my temper and put me on the path to recovery. It’s not too late for Hatton to find peace too, but something tells me he’s not interested.
Plenty have and will defend Tyrrell’s latest tirade. He only went and chipped in for birdie after snapping the club so maybe his coping mechanism is working? Golf is a frustrating game after all. Who among us hasn’t succumbed to the mental torture it inflicts upon its participants? He’s only human, and who is he hurting only himself? By God if any sport is crying out for characters, it’s the supposedly squeaky clean snooze-fest of the pro golf circuit. Let the blood boil and the lad play.
And honestly, I agree with most of that, only in Hatton’s case, such is the regularity of the often-times faux outrage, at this point I think people are laughing at him, not with him as his level of petulance reaches King Joffrey proportions. He likely won’t care, and probably won’t change, so as long as it doesn’t put off his playing partners, I see nothing but a pampered pro firing middle fingers in the air when things don’t go his way. Embarrassing, yes, but if he’s self-aware, then embarrassment should be punishment enough.
On the other hand, if someone slipped poison into Matt Wallace’s vino at the post-final round dinner, the brash Englishman would’ve been getting off lightly. Another man with a well-documented history of acting out, Wallace also came unstuck at the par-5 14th, finding the bunker short-left of the green with a misjudged approach.
Given it was the back-nine on Sunday and with so much to play for, Wallace had every right to feel frustrated, so let fly he did with a thumping blow of his misfiring club to the irrigated desert turf, taking a chunk out of the fairway that wouldn’t look out of place at the Ploughing Championships. Then the tantrum turned sinister when neither caddie nor player deemed the damage worthy of repair, despite a title, PGA Tour cards and millions of dollars on the line for the leading groups behind Wally.
Had the ball of a McIlroy or McKibbin come to rest in a bed of Wallace’s tears, it could’ve torn Sunday’s script asunder but just because their play avoided the craterous hazard of Wallace’s making shouldn’t mean he avoids retrospective punishment. A hefty, public fine at the very least would send some sort of message, though a two-shot penalty during the final round, or even a DQ, would’ve been more befitting his rotten behaviour.
See, unlike Hatton, Wallace’s actions could’ve had very real consequences for the outcome of the tournament. They were senseless and selfish and measures must be put in place to protect the field against such mindless acts.
The words of the great Shooter McGavin come to mind. Kick him off the tour, Doug!